Kissing Someone Else While In a Relationship

When you’re in a committed relationship, locking lips with someone who isn’t your partner can leave you with a tangled mess of emotions. And more questions are flooding your mind than answers. Do you pretend it never happened? Do you confess? Will this crush the trust between you and your significant other?

While every couple has their definition of what crosses the line into infidelity, a kiss often breaches that threshold. Letting someone else’s lips touch yours introduces intimacy outside of your primary partnership. And that typically feels like cheating. 

But maybe you were caught off-guard. Or you had one too many drinks. Or you got swept up in a movie-style moment of passion where the attraction was too magnetic to resist. Whatever led to it, this smooch has flipped your world upside down. 

Now what? Do you brush it under the rug? Come clean? Brace for a potential breakup? 

While every situation is unique, clarity and empathy are essential. Let’s unravel this step-by-step so you can make the healthiest decision for you and your partner moving forward.

Is Kissing Someone Else While In a Relationship Bad?

Generally, kissing someone other than your partner while in an exclusive relationship is considered cheating. Even a simple kiss breaches the trust and commitment two people make to be intimate only with each other. 

However, every relationship differs in levels of physical intimacy they consider appropriate outside the bounds of their partnership. 

The key is communicating honestly with your partner about expectations and boundaries. If you suspect or know kissing another crosses your partner’s line, it violates their trust in you.

Can Kissing Someone Else End a Relationship?

For many couples, kissing another person signals the end of the relationship. It’s an act of infidelity and dishonesty that irreparably harms the foundation of trust, openness, and loyalty necessary for a partnership to thrive. 

Additionally, it shows a blatant disregard for your partner’s feelings and well-being. However, the relationship’s future after kissing another depends on several factors. The length of the relationship, nature of the kiss, level of remorse, and willingness to earn back trust all shape whether the relationship can recover and continue.

Should I Tell My Partner That I Kissed Someone Else?

Sometimes, being honest and telling your partner if you kiss someone else is better. Partners in healthy relationships have a right to truthful information that impacts them and the relationship. Keeping the kiss hidden often does more damage than the act itself when inevitably discovered. 

It continues the deception rather than giving your partner the agency to respond based on transparent facts. However, being forthright is unwise in certain situations, such as if your partner is volatile or abusive. Prioritizing safety first is crucial.

Tips For Being Open About Kissing Another

If you choose to tell your partner about kissing another, here are some tips to help the discussion be as constructive and gentle as possible:

• Pick a private time when you are both calm to start the conversation 
• Be patient and allow time for your partner’s reaction without getting defensive
• Avoid blaming them or justifying your actions
• Acknowribute the hurt your actions caused 
• Express genuine remorse and take full responsibility 
• Reassure your commitment to the relationship unless you intend to end it
• Explain the context without making excuses
• Answer any questions honestly
• Respect whatever time or space your partner needs to process it
• Seek counseling to facilitate healing the breach of trust if your partner wants to move forward

Being completely honest when crossing a line takes courage, but it demonstrates respect for your partner and the chance to rebuild intimacy, if possible. How they choose to respond says more about the future viability of the relationship than the kiss itself.

Does a Drunken Kiss Still Count As Cheating?

Being under the influence of alcohol typically does not excuse kissing someone else. While it may lower inhibitions and impair judgment, you still consciously choose to be intimate with someone other than your partner. 

Many would still consider a drunken kiss infidelity. The alcohol may explain the behavior, but it does not justify it or automatically exempt it from counting as cheating.

However, the context matters. A sloppy drunken peck at a party versus a full-on makeout session in private will likely elicit different responses from a partner. Short kisses may be more forgivable one-time mistakes, whereas deep, extended kissing indicates a level of desire and betrayal harder to attribute just to intoxication.

Unless you were unconscious and taken advantage of, your partner will likely still feel hurt and view a drunken kiss as cheating, even if the alcohol led to atypical behavior on your part. Do not use being under the influence as an excuse. Take full responsibility.