He Won’t Leave His Wife But won’t Let Me Go

It starts as one flattering compliment to exchanging a few personal messages and meeting up after work, but it becomes a full-blown affair within no time. When things escalate, you start experiencing dilemmas like why he won’t leave his wife but won’t let me go. 

Love is so fluid that it can be hard to limit yourself to whom you have feelings for. Affairs are not easy. It can be challenging to be content with being the other woman. This article explores the concept of being with a married man who won’t leave his wife and won’t let you move on, either. 

Why Cant the Married Man Let Me Go?

If you are having an affair with a married man and he won’t let you go, here’s why: 

Emotional Fulfillment

Affairs can be emotionally satisfying and even fill the gap that a married man lacks in his marriage. If you make him feel appreciated and desired, he might not want to let that go. Also, emotional fulfillment can come from feeling heard in the relationship. If an affair is a source of emotional nourishment, a married man may be reluctant to let you go even if he feels he cannot leave his wife. 

Fear of Loss

If a married man is emotionally invested in you, the thought of losing you and the relationship can be frightening. For instance, he may be scared of losing the emotional connection and support he has found in you. Also, if an affair is an escape from facing the challenges in his marriage, he can be scared of letting you go.

Want It All Mentality

When a man is having an affair but still wants to remain married, it means he is reaping benefits from both relationships. Hence, giving up one relationship means one source of fulfillment goes away. Holding you could be because he feels he needs the relationship without paying the price of leaving his marriage. 

Guilt

If a married man has been having an affair for a long, he can develope guilt of having to let you go. Affairs comes with a deep emotional connection, making him feel like he owes you. 

Thrill Of Forbidden Love

Because of its secretive nature, an affair feels unique and special. A married man may feel he does not want to let you go due to the emotional connection that comes with experiencing forbidden love. The stolen moments together can feel heightened and make losing them unbearable. 

Why He Won’t Leave His Wife

The first reason a married man will not leave his wife is because of children and family responsibilities. The effects of divorce on his children can make it hard for him to leave. Also, the desire to maintain a stable home environment for their children often outweighs the pull of an affair.

Another reason he won’t leave is finances. Many married couples have intertwined finances, joint assets, and shared debts. Divorce results in the splitting of all financial entanglements and can be taxing. In addition, divorce leads to a significant decrease in living standards for both parties, which can be a powerful deterrent.

Furthermore, leaving a marriage and entering an unfamiliar situation can be challenging for a married man. Even if not ideal, the comfort of routine and the known can be more appealing than the uncertainty of starting over. Unfortunately, this fear of change can be paralyzing, keeping men in unhappy marriages.

Also, regardless of how much he loves you, a man can feel a strong sense of duty to his wife, especially if they’ve been together for a long time. They may feel guilty about breaking their vows or leaving their partner, mainly if their wife has been loyal and supportive. In some cases, a married man can still have hope of salvaging his marriage and see an affair as a temporary phase. 

What To Do When He Chooses His Wife Over You

It can be deeply hurtful to learn that the man you have been deeply emotionally invested in chooses his wife over you. The best thing you can do is prioritize and choose yourself. Start by setting firm boundaries—clear that you won’t accept being the “other woman” indefinitely. Also, consider cutting off communication or minimizing it if you have to talk. 

While painful, a clean break is often necessary to move on. Consider blocking his number, removing him from social media, and resisting the urge to check up on him. Use this time to reflect on the relationship and what you’ve learned about yourself. Identify any patterns in your romantic history that may need addressing, and think about what you truly want in a future partner.

Another step towards healing is setting goals and taking small steps toward achieving what you have envisioned for your future.